What do you do when you just don’t feel like doing anything, don’t feel like getting up or being productive, don’t feel a drive of any sort? And you just want to bury yourself feeling useless…
As mentioned in my first post, I am using this platform to be open, vulnerable and honest about things and issues few people might want to openly talk about or admit. The state I’m describing is not an attractive, beautiful or inspiring state to be in. Especially as an artist. There’s so much pressure on artists out there anyhow, living in times of instant gratification and social media.
I have found that there are times of ups and downs, like the ebb and flow, being an artist. It can be very tough. Inspirations come, like a flow, and they go again, leaving you behind, empty. Feeling worthless at times. I’ve experienced these times a lot. But when you look at social media outlets or when you talk to fellow artists, only the very few talk about these ebbs and flows, or admit they’re living in a drought at the moment. Because it is not attractive, it is not inspiring. But it happens. So very often, I do believe, especially as an artist. That’s why many quit, it’s too much too handle, especially when you’re a gentle, vulnerable and sensitive soul, which are basically the main attributes of an artist’s soul. The paradox of society telling you that you constantly have to be active, engaged, doing something: I mean, you can’t just ‘do nothing’, you gotta work hard, right?
Well, sometimes, you just can’t. Sometimes you’re left in the desert without water. And it’s painful.
What to do in times like these? Especially when people or ‘friends’ ask you: What are you doing, what have you been up to, what are you working on? How about: How are you?Going through the drought is hard. And I believe it is inevitable as artists, we’re not machines.
I have found that ACCEPTANCE is key.
If you find yourself accepting your state, not trying so hard to change anything but accept where you are right now, it gives the ‘flow’ the freedom to start moving again. And know that after the storm, comes the sun. Always. It’s just a matter of time.
I was having one of these black holes, so I call them, where I was absolutely passionless, which literally scared the shit out of me. I did not want to do anything, create anything, I did not even know what I really wanted anymore. I felt so empty inside, it was horrible. But I just let myself be, embrace that pain, talk openly about it. And in that empty state of ‘nothing’, I actually found myself committing to meet a friend to write a scene for a reel. I, of course, did NOT want to go, did not feel like being creative, doing anything. So, basically, I was FORCED to do something, forced to ‘just write’. And I did, I just started writing that scene. And suddenly, things shifted for me. Instantly. I got hit with a sudden inspiration. And that’s when my first original script for my short film ‘A Cycle’ (officical website) was born. My friend and I managed to produce this film which is currently in post-production and looking promising. With this film, I have unlocked my true passion for creating unique content, something I have done ever since I was a child, but have, in a way, forgotten or pushed aside on the way of my acting pursuits. And things started moving like crazy afterwards leaving me picking up a feature film I wrote at the age of 13, and writing on another feature film with my husband. And this is only the beginning.
You see: things can take a sudden, unexpected turn that leads to something beautiful, something that is much better than what was before. And this always happened to me: after darkness comes light, always, and that light very often shines even brighter than the one before.
It is absolutely normal to feel stuck as an artist, it’s the journey of us all. To feel down, empty and worthless at times. To not have that drive to create, not wanting to do anything at all. ACCEPT that state, be gentle to yourself, don’t judge or hate yourself for it. Then start doing one task a day. Find ONE thing a day that you want to accomplish. Be it Yoga, going out for a walk, baking a cake, whatever. Best would be something where you move your body, so the flow can start flowing again, or something breaking your usual patterns, so you can release some blocks and create a new flow. Or just DO something, write SOMETHING. And things will shift eventually. I know that for myself, YOGA is a huge cure for me, it gets me flowing, moving, it opens up my chakras. And I got myself writing this blog.
Feel free to let me know what your ways are to free that flow again or what your thoughts and experiences on this subject are.
Much love and light,